vanilla cookies covering bidi throat. i just opened the back door , the (inside) cat ran in and loves me again. is somebody yelling at the dogs? what.. nobody is out there. huh?

sometimes brently is so cold. cruel. harsh. nothing.. face. i wonder what would happen if i said that. to him. sometimes i tell him what i think of such faces, and usually i am the other end of the universe wrong.

one time i drank gin and made everyone smile with my wit.

another time i didn't.

one time i drank tequilla and thought i was in love with a boy. then he drank the rest of the bottle and thought i was someone else.

one time the dogs wouldn't stop barking at what seems to be ))imaginary? voices and the cat tried to jump in my lap and missed.

wait. that was . wait. hmh uhmh

there is a girl that yesterday i decided i don't enjoy her presence, and today i decided we were,, are the same girl. there is absolutely nothing to be read into that. and there is no sarcasm in the latter or thus. and all of the above is, as far as i know., truth.

my life is not an empty slate, but a piece of slate. did somebody say that,,. . . ., ,,, ,,, ,,, , , , dotdot. i do not know what that means. at.. . alll l.l.

. . . .... .. . . . ... .. what was i gonna say. .. . oh.h i was gonna say that i am not drunken or anything at. all. bidis do not count because they are legal,. wait. paxil is legal too., it is non habit forming. . is it? that is what the box says. in a lie. i don't understand chemicals and the biblical approach toward them. to them. on them. hhhj. i do not want to go to school again. why? bcause of multiple choice answers. tests. i mean. there is no one right answer. even mathematics. testing should be outlawed. you know what kind of testing i mean, , so don't be all literal. i am talking to my self. it seems. one time i was getting ready for school and tying my shoes and having a conversation with someone,, or other, and sarah walkesd in and i was a teenager (am) and sarah was too and it was embarrassing. last night i dreamt of teachers and cafeterias and hallpasses and notes and escorts and distrust in general and my (now) boss was one of the distrusting tyrant teachers,, ,,,, today she was in a bad mood or somethin. kept givin those 'i'm on the last cliff of my tolerance of you or anyone else,, in human form' looks. .. .... when all else fails,, remember this, ((kick those southern accent teeth in and chant along) ) smile real big and say howdeEE . it is one thirty. check up on your cavities. make sure they are tucked in snuggly. then inspect the durability of your favorite pillow. with alll your might.