faker. try'n to be cool

just looked up ross's website. i wonder how he really is.

it says:

"

news:

with girl of my dreams, working on adding the scroll bar to this. working close to forty-five hours this week, time will be short but i'll try to add newness.

soon.

ross.

"

record... . ... dot.

it sounds like things are the same for him,, maybe.

he seems to be a littlemore comfortable in his self-labeled skin.

perhaps

we are both ONLY the same as ever, ONLY more comfortable.

..

.

i remember the last day of first grade. a day on the playground. on the merry-go-round.

=metal and rusty.

.thinking how strange it is,,,, . . that the jump from first grade to second grade is just like any other (grade-to-grade) jump, but it feels so much different from the others.. feels further .... because in your mind two numbers, especially 'one' and 'two' are drastically more opposite than a word is from a number, or even than a word is from a word.

i don't know what these thoughts have to do with anything, but . they were just popping. that's all.

.

tonight i watched "the four feathers", (1939version), and it is making me sit up straight and say things like "rathUHR" and "spLENdid!"

lobsterbacks.

today a salesman of some sort called for mom while i was burning trash,, totally threw my mind off. talking about some sweepstakes las vegas visa mastercard nonsense,,,, and i said, "not interested, sorry". and he says, "not interested in which part?" *very smart-ellickkyyy...,he said it((** so i say, "well, i don't adhere to sweepstakes, . they are a waste of time.. i don't mean to offend you or anything, but..." and he says<"i don't see what there is about seventy-thousand dollars that you find to be a waste of time." oh geezz. what an idiot. and burning trash was no longer enjoyable.

almost through _till we have faces_ . so lovely. it's like _the horse's boy_ and _the last battle_ comparisons someone would say, uh oh . the computer is dying...