why do i drop so easily. i guess i don't. it is just one thing. too many eggs in one basket.

zoom zoom zoooom zooom plop thyuddtdd

.i give myself very good advice but i very seldom follow it.

this guy came in work today looking for vinyl (why are guys always wanting to buy vinyl?..) and apologized for his stutter. said it was caused by some medicine the doctor was givin him. hm.

.

maybe i should tatto my face and join the circus.

i have such a simple, straightforward life. a b c d points here here and here. satisfaction should be on my mind. i get these pictures though, and they become super vivid, clear, and then disappear. and sometimes i pretend they are still there. and sometimes i think they've disappeared but they haven't, . and between those two is where the confusion lies.

i should just marry bill and lead a simple straightforward life with no pictures.

maybe i should. but. then i think those pictures and i would stamp his patience down to nothing. nothing could stamp his kindness, which might be the same as ..., but . butbut but. then grandpa,, and grandma. that's how they were,, . ahh . humm. humm hmhmmmhmum. no stamping victories there.. , .

hm

dad is gonna try to get a job at the v a (veterans' affairs) hospital. he'd be a good janitor. i've always thought so. if the v a doesn't need him, he's gonna try at stones river battlefield. he's wanting a job with the gov't to build up some benefits and retirement junk. he'd be great at the battlefield too. great talker. especially especialllly on history shit. perfect job. he never went over to 'nam, so it'd be funny (and is quite possible) if he were to get that job and die on the battlefield. hah. i can imagine him having a heart attack out there and all the jokes at his funeral.

no, i'm not tooo morbid. it's just. death is not a big deal at all around here,.. in this family.

there was this one cousin or uncle or somethin, . he had a sore throat , and the doc told him to gargle with iodine. he misunderstood and drank the iodine. ... .. at family reunions (at a little church w/ a cemetary,,,) the kids always ask the old people where his tombstone is, and everybody laughs the whole thing up.

i've told that story to everyone i know atleast five times. they always seem to forget it. 'cept roxy. it's like it's a story about HER cousin.

oh yeh. my cousin micah got married. he is an auto mechanic,, specifically a deisel engine mechanic,, lived with us for a year while going to auto0deisel college in nashville... micah micah.. so funny. he thinks his hair is shaggy if it's more than a centimeter long. he adores shania twain. knows every word to every song. just a farm boy from arkansas.... so. .he got married by a lake. under a park pavillion. there was a bright fancy car waiting by to carry him and his bride away, but the two jumped into a nearby tow-truck and split. ha.their honeymoon was in a cabin that was supposed to be beside a river.., due to a flood, (((the cabin was built up on stilts.. .))))) micah rowed his girl out to the cabin in a flat-bottom boat.

and, ofcourse. . this girl's dad owns the biggest junkyard around.

perfect. good job, micah.