alright.

and the sun seems to be up now. although it's foggy . dreary and rainy. mm mm. i loveit.

my stomach is hungry and there is a kitten in my lap. asleep and finally comfortable. .i hope.

new name. not october anymore. tis still a dreary and beautiful song.. but . someone seems to be gone from it.

so here is a new name. maybe i'll get used to it. mmn.

i feel so sad. overwhelmingly. like, like i'm empty.

there are birds flying in the yonder trees. it looks cold out.

these silly writings, when i read them,, they are so vague. it's only how i'm thinking. it isn't how i speak,, or how these surroundings neccessarily appear to others. it's just what i'm thinking of what's around. and.. well, no one else but god sees what's around this little spot anyway.

and so i've changed names again, cos these writings can easily be misconstrued. easily. easilyeasily.

it was a mistake to show them to someone from the surroundings.

it is not a friend who is no longer a friend. no, not that. it is that i'm afraid of unmeaningly hurting the friend. i don't know him anymore, yes. i still love him, i hope he may love me, . i doubt it greatly. but

i can't see the point in having a journal with being scared of the may-be reader.

and so..